Weddings

Wedding Planning

Introduction:

This is an article that came to me suddenly, on a Thursday morning. I see all the stress that goes into planning wedding and I wonder why.

I have planned two weddings while working on my 8-5 job and both turned out successfully. Albeit, I had help from two very faithful and experienced partners – my mum and dad.

Three things are of utmost importance in planning your wedding – your budget, timing and ability to optimize your resources.

First things, first

The first thing you need to do is to determine your budget. This will depend on two factors: what type of wedding do you want? A close knit or a family-friends-wide wedding. Here, you have to consider what really matters to you. Are you a business person with lots of contact? Can you use your wedding to enhance your business opportunities? Or are you a salary earner with a few pockets of friends, here and there? All these needs to be considered because ultimately, you will be committing your funds into this and you need to weigh the benefits.

 If I may mention here, the wedding is NOT the marriage, think about this for a minute. I’m sure you will agree with me that it makes no sense at all to expend all your income on a wedding ceremony and then starve for the months following the wedding.

After carrying out the cost-benefit analysis of this ceremony, the next thing to do is to consider your resources. When I say resources, I do not necessarily mean the money you have in the bank or on your pay cheque for the next six months (cos by the way, you need at least 6 months to plan your wedding, if you decide to have one). Your resources include your money, your friends, your family, anything you can put to use to execute ‘project wedding’.

Then you need to trim your budget to align with the resources you have. When I say trim, I don’t mean any major change, just tone down a few things like the cost of your rings, the number of tiers of your cake, the duration of your honeymoon (you have the rest of your lives to plan others). When you are satisfied that all these have been adequately taken care off, you may proceed.

Then…

…Planning. Having concluded on what type of wedding and how much you wish to commit to it, next thing is to start planning.  If there is a wedding fair around you, please make out time to attend, if only for an hour. You can just breeze in and collect all the contacts you think you may need. Before you exclaim about how expensive the vendors may be, I do not expect you to pay the regular fee, just get the contacts.

Now, contact all your resources and find out what they can offer. This could be their gift to you, for your wedding. I got music at my reception, MC services and Project Managers, all free of charge. Hold a planning meeting with the key partners to identify the key activities – where to hold the event, entertainment and organization the venue.

Consider the weather of the period you have chosen before picking a location, also the accessibility.  Dad can help with this aspect. Chief on your selection criteria should be your own convenience and your budget. Don’t be backed into a corner by what others may feel. It’s your wedding and they are only invitees. They can choose to either honour your invite or not. After selecting a suitable venue, you need to plan how to make it look presentable and fit for the purpose. At this point you select your decorator, music and a MC.

Now, let’s digress a little. Remember the vendors I mentioned in paragraph one of this section? Did you know you can negotiate with them? Yes, you can! You can… big time. I’m a testimony; I got over 60% discount from one of those. The trick is this, know your budget. They almost, always ask you for your budget and are usually willing to work with your budget. However, do not give them your actual budget for the scope you wish to contract out. You must always have a management reserve that you do not disclose. After you’ve done the best you van negotiating based on the budget you push forward, add that reserve and if it falls within your budget, go for it. I will advise you to always go for the best. Did you say they would be too expensive again? Again, you may be wrong. Truth is most of those ‘big shots’ offering services already have all the tools they will use, at their discretion, they can throw in a couple of things without charge, just to secure one more deal. NEVER BE AFRAID TO TRY THEM.

That said, let’s continue with our planning. After you have sorted the venue and everything to make it up to standard, next important thing is food and drink. You can’t have people travel across town to come sit and watch you dance or listen to someone talking for hours without entertaining them (remember you considered your convenience over theirs). So, how do you get food to the venue on time? I suggest a caterer (mums can help here). Again, work with budget, negotiate and sample a lot of vendors.

Another important thing is logistics. I suggest you employ very close friends as PM for this. Don’t over-burden one person; make sure you spread the load, to ensure success. If possible get someone to follow up on each vendor, after you have signed the contracts with them. Note of warning here, you need to do a follow up yourself, at least a month to the wedding.

All other activities like getting souvenirs, bridal train are optional. If you want them, you can get help from your pool of resources to plan and execute these.

Execution

Part of this has been discussed in planning. Make the most of your willing resources (never impose on anyone) and ensure you monitor adequately. I will suggest a weekly meeting after the initial planning meeting or at worst a bi-monthly meeting. Keep a record and indicate progress at every meeting so you can easily identify any thing that is lagging or requiring more attention.

Always remember you are responsible for the success or otherwise of ‘project wedding’ unless you have transferred the responsibility to an event planner. As such, ensure you keep an eye on the baseline and do your negotiation yourself. The passion you have for your own event will help to drive the negotiation in your favour.

 Finally…

…Shopping. Ladies love this but I have a note of caution, you still have to work with a budget, especially with your wedding shopping. Remember the trick, negotiation. You can get the best of both worlds – looking good and feeling good (in your pocket).

That’s my bit of advice, hope it helps.

IT'S TIME FOR CHANGE - ARISE NIGERIA!

I just have to let out some of the steam here.

Nigeria will survive, no matter what the wicked plot.

This land is blessed and cannot be cursed, the enemy is just trying.

I saw a really gruesome video on 'fb' this morning and I cried.

A man was holding on to the lifeless body of a little boy whose head had been crushed by a trailer that seemed to have lost control on a motorway. Another woman (most likely the boy's mother) was rolling on the floor, crying, shouting, almost out of control.

There were other bodies lying around including a little girl still under the trailer, dead.

I just wonder what sort of wicked leaders will continue to allow untrained, reckless drivers drive just about anything they desire to put on the already dilapidated roads. No check on drivers, no check on the vehicles, no maintenance of the roads.

My people, it is time for us to STAND UP and stand for what is right else, soon, there will be NOTHING left to stand for.

If you are reading this, now is the time to STEP OUT in NIGERIA. Are you called, led, moved to take up seats in the Senate, House of assemblies, Local Government, State Government or Presidency. PLEASE, DO IT NOW.

The last 2 weeks in January - Showers of blessings

Phew! I finally got into my blog. It's been so long I could not remember which account it was under.

Anyway, I'm here now, at 1.54am on a cool thursday morning.

I've been enjoying a shot at what motherhood really is like i.e. full-time babysitting. My conclusion is, it's a lot of hard work and requires immeasurable patience but you get paid with those cute smiles, waem bright eyes (completely trusting) from angelic faces.

God has blessed me, so far, with 2 cute nephews that I love so completely. I just can't keep away from them. So, when my government decided all kids had to stay home for an extra month (after the christmas break) and my sister had to go back to work, I was glad to take 2 weeks off work and be their day-time mum.

During this period, I was also able to bring my ongoing personal project to a close and I'm starting a new one today (hence, my staying up late). Well, I've got to give it to God, HE has been mighty good to me and my soul magnifies HIM right now. You may look at me and think "there is still such and such missing,why is she so joyful?" Well hello, I've got gist for you, looks are deceptive. If only you knew the things that are about to be manifest, my oh my, you'll take a thanksgiving offering to God, on my behalf and tap into it.

I feel a song breaking out of my heart right now - 'Send it on down'...Oh! It's raining down... I can feel the rain...A shower of blessing...oh oh falling on me...it's raining down, it's raining on me...
Halleluyah!!!

End of Vacation '10

Today is the last day of my vacation,
I don't know if I'm glad or sad.
Certainly need to get back to work
cos I'm beginning to feel bored.

Anyway, it was a good one for me
It was nice walking down oxford road again,
Taking a ride to Piccaddily on the magic bus,
To shop/window shop in Arndale, Pound Empire etc
And there was Trafford Centre, always a joy to visit.

The best part though was fellowship
O! I had a great time in fellowship at Femi, Francis & Bolaji's
Learning about the three levels of separation - called, chosen & faithful chosen
I almost forgot, I had the most wonderful hostesses - Mary and Ini
And fellowship at King's church was awesome with Dave encouraging us
to gossip the good news.
God bless them all.

Then, there was Cardiff, started out slowly
but peaked on friday when I went to 'the Marina'
Saturday was awesome too - Cardiff castle and 'the Marina' again
And finally sunday, with Roger bringing the word about
Greater (mega) works, very much in line with the highest level of separation.

After Sunday service, back to london for some rest, a little more visitations,
The meeting with Xiena (my old flatmate), in paddington.
Well, that's it about my vacation.
I forgot, God sent me an angel on my way back from Cardiff
Who helped with my huge baggage, getting the replacement bus
(engineering works on the underground line).

What's that u have in ur hands?

Or more appropriately,
what's that u have on ur mind?

Undiscovered data, untapped knowledge,
Witty inventions, in the making.

All lying fallow in great minds
waiting to be uncovered, released.

Awake, o sleeper
Arise from ur slumber.

Put pen to paper
Let the ideas flow.

Throw paint on the canvas
Let the image emerge.

Do not be afraid of getting it wrong
But be persitent enough to get to the 'right'.

Do not wait till tomorrow
We are only promised today.

Step out and give it the best u've got
Cos u'll never know...unless u try.

I Still Know Who She Is (one of those forwarded messages)

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On examining it I saw it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors and got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while! As she is a victim of Alzheimer's disease.As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.I was surprised and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life. True love is neither physical nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about, I just did. Life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain.The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Almighty God, you will make it to a place called Success.

The Cry of the nations... are you ready?

The cry of the nations

is a cry for God.

Behind the facade and hype

of this present day

is a desire for the Lord.

Who has the directions

to the place of peace,

the nest of rest?

That's the question

in the hearts of men.

Lost souls, unguided minds

groping in the darkness

that is this world.

Seeking the tiniest

glimmer of light, hope.

Waiting for the manifestation

of the living epistles of God

Are you ready to rise to the task,

forget about yourself,

throw caution to the wind,

in order to keep a soul from perishing

and lead a lost one back home?